Top 10 Reasons why it's good to be a Mennonite in Aylmer* 10. You will always know someone when you go to Taco Bell in St. Thomas. 9. You are related to half the people in town. 8. In fifteen minutes, you can find a connection to someone in the other half. 7. You understand the song 'Tillsonburg' by Stompin' Tom Connors. 6. It's socially acceptable to go to Tim Hortons on a regular basis. 5. If you don't like your Mennonite church, you can always find another one. (And if you don't like any of them, you can go to the Missionary church with all the other Mennonites in denial) 4. At baseball games, at least one of your friends will be carrying sunflower seeds. 3. Two words: German Holidays 2. You know a language that they don't teach in schools 1. You always have a summer job The top ten things that happen when you double-cross the Mennonite Mafia:
10. They spread nasty rumors about you like:"He doesn't give 10% of his income in the offering."
9. They hold your head under water. (usually by pouring)
8. They give you the "Kiss of Death". (right after washing your feet)
7. They tie you in a chair (loosely of course) and force you to listen to a choir sing 666 over and over and over......
6. They take you for a short walk on a long pier.
5. They break your (Vienna) fingers.
4. They give you a pair of cement boots and then throw them in the river.(without you in them)
3. They wait till you walk out your front door then do a drive-by shunning.
2. They send a hit man to your house. (usually the Bishop)
1. They break your legs. (of your chair)
*submitted by Glen Mast.
